“We can still be friends?”
Sounds sweet, doesn’t it? The truth of the matter, though, is that you’re about to be tutored by one of the oldest lines in breakout history. Your ex is effectively saying “I like you, but not enough to go out with you anymore.” At least not right now.
When your ex offers to be your friend, they are dangling a carrot. If she was the one who ended things, she knows you still love her. Instead of letting you go, she is cheating on you for her own selfish reasons. Being your friend is the perfect way to break up slowly, so she doesn’t have to feel any pain. Her ex can see you, talk to you, send you emails and texts, maybe even hang out with you. She gets all the social and emotional benefits of having you around, but without any of the drawbacks associated with full commitment.
You, on the other hand, pretend that you are happy with such an arrangement. Right now you are afraid to tell her otherwise, for fear of losing her. So you sit back, “being there” for her, maybe even watching your ex start seeing other guys. Every time you see her kiss a new boyfriend, your stomach turns… but there’s not much you can do. Why? Because you took a front row seat in the dreaded Friend Zone.
understand something. If your ex offers you friendship after a breakup, it’s You are not over your relationship yet.. You can use this knowledge to quickly back her down, before she leaves with someone else.
So how to get your ex girlfriend back? By No playing the nice little role of friendship that she created for you. Instead, turn down your ex girlfriend’s friend offer when she gives it to you… or if you’ve already accepted it, you can throw her away right now. Say something like:
“Look, I can’t be your friend. I love you too much. If you and I can’t go out, we can’t be friends either. I’m sorry, but it has to be.”
Give him one last hug and then slowly walk away. Disappear for a while. Do not make any contact with your ex girlfriend including phone calls, emails or anything else. Don’t even update your Facebook page: You want to remain a complete and silent mystery to your ex… at least for a while. Have him face the breakup on his own, without you holding his hand.
This is where your ex needs to make a decision: either he dates you or he loses you completely. You’ve let her know that you’re not going to settle for a halfhearted relationship, and she’ll really respect you for it. While she is debating whether or not she needs you in her life, she will also be worried about what you are doing. Are you with someone? Do you carry on without her? This type of thinking will speed up her decision, which is why it is so important not to know anything about where she is right now.
If your ex loves you, they will miss you quickly. Once you have that, getting your ex back becomes easy. There are ways to reestablish a connection with your girlfriend that will lead you back to romance. But never settle for friendship…not when you’re looking for something completely different.
