The highly successful male narcissist finds female partners who are attracted by his magnetism, lifestyle, and extraordinary confidence. High-level narcissists often have multiple marriages and multiple mistresses and girlfriends. Women are magnetized by the high level successful narcissist. Looking at the number of their romantic relationships, affairs, affairs, and marriages, one would think that male narcissists are comfortable with women and capable of being intimate with them. The opposite is true. On the outside, the narcissist is charming and captivating, promising his current woman whatever he wants to fulfill her desires. The narcissist who thinks he has found the “right woman” settles for exorbitant gifts and a lifestyle to match. The woman of the day is a narcissistic supply for him, a tempting object that makes him feel more alive and empowered. The narcissist thinks carefully about this new acquisition, the role he will play, and how he will mold it to meet his exact specifications. She is another notch on his belt, a beautiful accessory that tells the world once again how powerful and virile she is. The narcissist requires a perfect reflection, which means that his partner must reflect his feelings of superiority, grandiosity and power. If the woman doesn’t follow the narcissist’s script, she’s not right for the role and quickly slips out of the picture.
Deep down, narcissists are subconsciously uncomfortable around women. Secretly, they despise and fear them. The male narcissist’s relationship with women begins with his first interactions with his mother. The mother of a narcissist is often a narcissist herself. This mother creates an uninterrupted psychological fusion with her child. She dotes on him, placing him on a pedestal above common mortals. The mother is often seductive to her son in various ways as part of the psychological merger with him. Often the father is passive or psychologically unavailable. The mother chooses her son as her mate, instead of her husband. In this process, the mother castrates her child. Emasculation is the deprivation of “strength, vigor, or spirit.” This child is treated as a deity, but has been tragically deprived of becoming a truly independent self. From earliest childhood, the narcissist has been forced to dance to the role imposed by his mother for him: his perfect little man, his psychological partner. In these families there is a dysfunctional family triangle in which the father is unable to play the role of providing his son with a strong sense of masculine strength and independence.
In her biography of Frank Lloyd Wright, Brendan Gill describes the classic relationship that mother Anna Lloyd Wright had with her son Frank: “(She) loved something else now, something created out of her own fervor of love and desire, a medium to realize his vision. Her adoration for Frank and her disdain for her husband created a dysfunctional triangle and a narcissistic duo. Although Frank had several mistresses and was married several times, his psychological fusion with his mother remained intact until shortly before Anna’s death.
The narcissist who takes command of the world, enjoys great material success and has access to any number of women who agree to his leadership, remains beneath it all, a frightened and enraged little boy, psychologically submerged by a controlling mother and seductress who steals to become a genuine, loving and authentic human being.
