Have you ever had the feeling that you can’t stop eating? That there is never enough? What are you a bottomless pit? These experiences are an opportunity to go deeper, to discover what may be going on behind.
Don’t blame your food or weight. Allow yourself to look deeper. You may find that this feeling of not getting enough permeates your life.
You may find that you live life from an inner sense of poverty, a deep sense of lack that virtually guarantees that no amount of food will satisfy you. That no amount of friends, sex, clothes, or money will satisfy you.
When you take a closer look, you may find that feeling deprived of food today may be based on a very real experience of being deprived in the past.
Consider a child who couldn’t get enough of his mother’s love. There is nothing the child can do about it. But as an adult, she is in control of how much food she can eat. So she eats more to make up for not having enough of something vital in her past, in this case, love.
Feeling deprived of love can also have the opposite effect when the desire to feel loved is so overwhelming that the person shuts down and ends up restricting food intake. In effect, they are clamping down on food to keep the overwhelming desire for love and connection in check.
To heal this emotional overeating (or undereating), start looking for evidence in your life that there is enough. We all have places in our lives where we experience enough.
We all have signs in our lives that there is enough. How does your body tell you that you’ve had enough of a good time at a party and it’s time to go? How does your body tell you that you’ve had enough shopping and need a break? How does your body tell you: “Enough of the computer, let’s do something else!”?
As you can notice your body’s “enough” signals, begin to tune into those signals around food and eating. For example, the body indicates that it has eaten enough food through feelings of satisfaction or satiety. Slow down while eating and look for those signs.
Remember, if you are distracted, for example by watching TV or playing on the computer while eating, it will be difficult to notice the signal. Also, if you are limiting your food intake or judging yourself, it will be very difficult to notice the signal.
When you allow yourself free access to food without judgment and tune in to yourself, you can begin to overcome deprivation. And while that may sound scary, as you learn to reconnect with your hunger and satiety cues, you’ll learn that you’re not insatiable. That there is enough
Surprisingly, pay attention to self-care around food and far-reaching benefits. By reconnecting with hunger and satiety, you will separate eating from the emptiness of not feeling loved. Then you will have the opportunity to heal from not feeling loved. As you stop blaming your food and your body, you discover that you are enough.
