How do you love that special person in your life? It’s not easy to answer, is it? It seems like most relationships are so hard to get right on an ongoing basis, and why? It’s because we don’t always know the right ‘language’ to talk about our love, and our best love isn’t always received the way we intended it either.
the languages of love it’s five times. The basic theory is that we never ascribe to just one language: we are ‘multilingual’, so to speak, and so is our partner. But we have preferences and it is as much an exercise to get to know ourselves and our partner as it is to start practicing the techniques of the Languages of Love.
What languages do you speak fluently? Are here:
1. Words of Affirmation
If you or your partner like to be praised and praised, and like to motivate and encourage others or each other, words of affirmation are a language they speak. However, you or your partner are probably quite susceptible to criticism.
If you or your partner are ‘people’ people and enjoy spending time with others and feeling connected, then you are quality timers. You like to get involved in things and be part of the team. You or your partner tend to feel lonely without quality time with special people. You would invest all your energy and a lot of time in your relationships.
3. Receive gifts
You might even personally feel guilty, or think your partner is selfish for speaking this love language fluently. The truth is that wanting to receive (or give) gifts is a language as valid as the others. Gifts and “free” are up to you or your partner. However, don’t forget to give the gift of yourself. You probably enjoy your birthday more than other people who don’t value gifts as much.
4. Acts of service, i.e. helping
Some love to help or be helped. If you or your partner like “helps”, actions will speak much louder than words. You will also feel a sense of accomplishment and meaning when you have completed the work. Punctuality and diligence are important to you or your partner if this language is a preference.
5. Physical touch
like a hug? Those who speak the love language of physical touch cannot survive without them. They enjoy close personal space. If it’s you or your partner, you don’t mind a little fun, and giving and receiving massages is a favorite. You would also especially appreciate eye contact in conversation and smiles from those who greet you. Hugs, pats, and playful shoves are your thing.
Everyone speaks several languages, albeit in different combinations and with different intensities. If you want some real fire, passion, and intimacy in your relationship, you would do much worse than learn and apply your partner’s love languages: customize your love to suit their needs. There is nothing more special than that!
Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All rights reserved throughout the world.
Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of Love Languages. He has a set of books including Love Languages for Singles, Teens, Couples, and Men. This series is a first class read for those who are passionate about their relationship(s).