Do you normally come home from work after a stressful day hoping to relax, but then walk in and the house is a mess? Can you relate to piled-up bills, blaring television or electronic games, clutter, and whining children? Wondering what your spouse has been up to all day and wondering?
You have to be firm to be heard, so start ordering your children and your spouse to immediately come out of their illusion and straighten up. Resistance hits like a sudden thunderstorm with lightning and a heavy downpour. The tension builds until it is no longer tolerable and everyone retreats to their best defense.
Do you find yourself with a “work-so-hard-all-day-no-one-cares” attitude?
If you identify yourself, you may not realize how you may be setting the stage to get what you have. You may be shooting yourself in the foot without realizing it.
This is one of the most effective ways to change this cycle of insanity and tension. It is a technique that, with constant use, can potentially transform stressful situations into relaxing peace and connection. It’s called the seven minute rule. Is that how it works.
Consider seven minutes before or after any transition as a sacred space where there is no confrontation, criticism, harsh stares, demands, sarcasm, cynicism, or any other negative interaction. Instead, be determined in loving and respectful interactions with your loved ones in the environment.
Let your children know that you are happy to be with them as they are. You choose to love unconditionally in that sacred seven minute space.
Here is an example. You can set the timer on your smartphone for seven minutes after stopping in the driveway. You may want to put a reminder on your board with a 3 “x 5” card that says “7 Minute Rule.” You will breathe deeply and breathe in an attitude of loving connection and gratitude. As you exhale, you will exhale any expectations and stresses from work. You may want to take three or four deep breaths to get the attitude you need for the seven minutes.
When you enter your home and leave stress behind through deep breathing, you will look into the eyes of your children and your spouse and take an interest in their world. It is as if you are walking into “holy ground” in those seven minutes. Use it to connect, appreciate, and see the world through the eyes of your loved ones.
Think about any transition, whether it’s seven minutes before bed or seven minutes when you wake up; seven minutes before leaving home and seven minutes when you arrive at your destination; seven minutes before sitting down to eat and seven minutes after. Any transition is seven minutes of sacred and sacred space.
Try it for a week (7 days) and see how it works for you. I challenge you to give it a try for 21 days, as that is the magic number that creates habit.
