Building self-confidence or improving self-esteem is about valuing ourselves as the people we are, not what we do. Our perception of what we are worth in our own eyes is based on how we interpret our past performance. In whatever situation we face, our confidence will be determined by how well we think we have done in previous similar situations. I’ll say how well we “feel” we’ve done, which implies that we’re using a certain standard to measure or compare. This standard or values are different from person to person, but many of us require perfect performance from ourselves. If we don’t succeed according to our perfect standards, we end up devaluing ourselves.
What are these standards or values? Where do they come from? How and why have we adopted them and why do we question them so often? We are not born with values, which leads us to the conclusion that they must have been learned one way or another. So, let’s start by examining certain values of our
culture:
- we value impeccable or perfect performance
- we love to win
These are great values for how we should do it: each one of us should do the best we can with whatever we’re doing, there’s nothing wrong with that. But the mistake that most of us make is that we replace the value of what we are doing with the person or individual that we are, no matter how few or many mistakes we make in what we do. Why can’t we value ourselves despite making mistakes?
Self-confidence is natural; Just remember when you were a child, you were valued, appreciated and loved for being in this world and you had self-esteem or confidence without even questioning it. it was natural. We didn’t have to do or perform anything to get that good feeling of being valued and loved by others. At some point on the timeline, through our teenage or teenage years, we got this illusion that we had to continually justify our place in the world by proving to other people that we are trustworthy. And for some reason, this proof became identical to “The Proof” that we were truly valuable. This has really made us vulnerable, because our self-esteem or confidence is not anchored within ourselves but somewhere outside of us, which we cannot control. The judgment of others determines how good we feel about ourselves. It’s not crazy?
So what should we do to build greater confidence in ourselves? Here are some tips:
- Make a list of the things you like about yourself. Look at this list when your own image stops. It is important to remind yourself of the qualities that you know you have.
- Make a list of the things you do well and do one of these things on the list every day. A simple but very effective self esteem builder for many.
- Remind yourself over and over how crazy it is to put yourself in such a vulnerable position as to let other people—the man down the street, your boss, the next-door neighbor, or whoever—determine your worth.
- Be kind to yourself and do something nice for yourself, something you like and enjoy. Treat yourself. indulge. Be your best friend!
- Go to a trusted family member, friend, or spouse and tell them about your feelings of discouragement. Perhaps the other can remind you of some valuable things about yourself that you have been keeping out of sight for the moment.
- Take a risk. Not taking a risk is the biggest risk you can take. Do something you’ve never done before. By accepting such a challenge, even if you are unsuccessful, taking a step into a “new world” is likely to increase your self-confidence.
- If the period of time you are experiencing low self-esteem is getting longer and longer no matter what you do, you should consider seeking professional help. Mental health professionals can be very helpful in building your own image. You can look on the Internet, in the phone book, in newspaper classified ads, etc.
Keep in mind that temporary fluctuations in your feelings of self-confidence are quite normal. Life goes up and down for all of us. Do not lose courage, remember that you are unique; there is no person like you in the whole universe, even if you are a twin, therefore you are incomparable. This is true and this is a great truth! It is not like this?
