Men cheat. Not all men. Or even most men. But certainly enough males, that the males of the species have deservedly earned their reputation for untrustworthiness. But how can you tell if your guy is cheating on you? Obviously, it’s hard to know for sure unless he confesses, you catch him in the act, or your lover e-mails you incriminating video evidence. But if you suspect that your partner is involved in extracurricular carnal play, there are some obvious clues to look for.
1) Your guy has always been less rigorous about his appearance, but suddenly he’s getting wet, wetting, and really wearing that nose clipper you not so subtly gave him as a stocking filler three years ago.
2) You always believed that you would need a GPS device to even find your washer and dryer, but lately your desire to wash your own rags has been on the verge of obsession.
3) Even though you are a regular morning bather, you have recently started showering to wash off the “dirt and grime of the day” before feeling “clean” enough to hit the sheets.
4) You know your husband uses credit cards for absolutely everything, yet his current statement shows numerous ATM withdrawals and canceled checks made to “cash.”
5) The dog-horn you married never missed an opportunity to grope your treats at any opportunity, yet lately, sex seems to happen only when your start it.
6) And on those occasions when sex has Been on the menu, its technical level seems to be slightly refined.
7) He has never been particularly verbal in his affirmation of his feelings for you, but these days the phrase, “You know I love you,” seems to guiltily escape his lips more often than “I’ll have another Heineken.”
8) You’ve crossed your fingers and held your breath for years, expecting him to remember your birthday or anniversary even with a card, but for the past few months he’s been giving you gifts “just for the sake of it” with increasing frequency.
9) The man who usually gives three-word answers to your questions about his day now regularly gives you excruciatingly detailed information about his daily schedule. When guys give too much information, something is definitely wrong.
10) The number of “work-related” calls you have to take has increased dramatically.
It is important to note that any of these changes in your behavior or activities might be completely innocent. And being involved in even two or three of them could also mean that he is keeping a very different secret from you, such as planning a surprise party, learning to dance, or carrying out mob contracts. However, if more than half of the above list sounds too familiar to you, chances are your husband is dipping the wick elsewhere.
And while this revelation understandably bothers you, don’t blame the messenger. I am simply trying to enlighten them. And remember, you can always choose to live in denial. I mean your birthday it is going up, your boy has It’s always been light, and killing for money is better than being unemployed, right?
© 2009 David M. Matthews. All rights reserved.
