As a single young professional, my career as a freelance writer is just beginning. I’m young enough to look to the future, leave dating to the less motivated, and consider all the freedom I’ll have for years to come.
However, as I fully admit, my thoughts turn more to domestic concerns than I would like. (Not to mention the fact that my mom demands grandkids, after a proper marriage, and she has set my marriage age at 25.)
I want my career, while at the same time, I would really like to be there for my children as much as I can, at least when they need me the most. Here are some things I got from different sites, with my own comments of course.
Breastfeeding by expressing breast milk
Some sites suggest the use of breast pumps for working mothers. I’m not a fan of the breast pump, although I’m not a fan of the bottle either. Even less do I like to use milk solution (most Filipino moms use that). I inherited all those prejudices from my mom and I intend to keep most of them. However, my only real alternative to the milk solution is a breast pump.
That brings me to my next problem. Since there is very little expression of breast milk in the Philippines, who would you turn to for help? Even hospitals give solutions to babies. After doing some more research, I discovered that there were jobs like IBCLCs (International Board Certified Lactation Consultants). These lactation consultants are experts in breastfeeding and, in general, in everything related to “expressing milk”. You could find someone certified here if you needed to.
deal with guilt
The one inescapable fact that I ran into, time and time again, is the fact that I will feel guilty. I will definitely experience it, wallow in it, probably cry about it, blame myself, and so on. Since I’m not a mom yet and am perfectly capable of leaving my dog home alone all day, I have to remind myself: if I’m a working mom, I’ll deal with the guilt.
After thinking about the case, I decided that, for me, dealing with guilt means putting my children first. I may not get home early enough to help them with their homework, and sometimes I really need extra hours at work. However, if my son needs me, I’ll excuse myself and run. Every parent-teacher conference, every Bring Your Parents to School Day (do they have those?) sacred.
Full-time mom and career woman doesn’t mean no breaks
Right now, the only thing I’d rather not lose to marriage and motherhood is freedom. My friends and I see upcoming events, concerts, or just random fun stuff, and we plan and go. So. I also like the feeling of little to no obligation to anyone when I splurge on accessories or clothing.
According to one stay-at-home mom (don’t let anyone tell you it’s not a full-time job), taking a break doesn’t necessarily mean going out and having fun like you’re single again. It just means you need an hour, possibly 2 for hard days, to pamper yourself and reflect. It’s time to relax, pull yourself together for the next million calls for attention.
If I were a working mom, I’d still be the best mom in the world.
Okay, to me, my mom is the best mom in the world, and she was a 24/7 stay-at-home mom with her kids. (She’s working again now that most of us are working.) But I know other moms who are the best mothers to their children, even though they are also working. After dealing with the guilt, remembering to take breaks, and pump milk during their early years, I can still end up being the best mom to my kids.
