“What if you could say ‘goodbye’ to procrastination forever?” Believe it or not, THERE IS a way to do it!
You can literally say “Bye!” ceiling! Now, that may sound “too simple”, but it really IS that simple, simple but very effective! What I’m suggesting is that you learn to “Outsource It!”
Try this 3-step process to outsource, remove, and determine
Step 1: Outsource it!
Externalizing, in a therapeutic sense, means making a mental projection, in the form of an image, outside of oneself, and it is a counseling method that is used in Narrative Therapy. It is a very useful therapeutic ‘tool’ to reduce self-blame and allows clients to create space to reframe and restructure their own identity. Both therapists and counselors can tailor their use of externalizing to a much broader spectrum, just as I do when I question their current view of “procrastination.”
Often we don’t call it by name directly, more often we talk or think about it indirectly (ie “I should do this, but…” or “I can’t seem to get to that project, maybe later… .”) only to wonder “why” we can’t keep going and achieve our goals. We know that we “hate him” and “want him to go away”, but it seems that we surely have not become great experts when it comes to finally firing him.
So, if you view “procrastination” (I write in all caps because it has become an “it” with a name!) as an entity outside of yourself… someone else or something else… feelings of “I am a ‘bad’ procrastinator” or something like that. When you outsource, you essentially get off the hook because the “Procrastinator” or “Procrastination” is outside of you… IT’S NOT YOU! So that means the next time you find yourself struggling with time management and feel like procrastination is driving your actions, you can stop blaming yourself and sabotaging your belief in yourself to change your behavior. You are not “The Procrastinator” and “The Procrastinator” is not your identity! Period.
Maybe look at it like this: “I’m learning now that procrastination can no longer be in my life and my choices will no longer be made to benefit procrastination! It’s me and it has to go now!” Make a mental image of Procrastination (create a specific vision in your mind’s eye) and watch Procrastination literally walk through a door and out of your life.”
Externalizing “Procrastination” allows you to release it and the internal control it once had over you. Procrastination no longer has to be your resident archenemy. If you try to see it as separate from yourself, you can start to gain an advantage, free of the frustration it brought with it. But the work does not stop here.
Step 2 – Eliminate Resistance
Once you decide to release him, you need to start taking out his partner, which is the resistance. Much of his procrastinating behavior is based on “mental resilience,” so it makes sense to find a way to create space for a new mindset. He can even repeat Step 1 now and externalize “Resistance” (“It” now has a name as well). Let it go out the same door as Procrastination!
The bottom line is: you’ve been fighting two fierce opponents and it seems that the more we ‘resist’, the more we procrastinate, and the stronger ‘Resistance and Procrastination’ become, taking over our very existence. So how do you fight the Resistance?
Start using affirmations to help you eliminate Resistance. Use your words and create actions to achieve this. For example, you could say: “I will no longer allow Resistance and Procrastination to rent space in my head and consume my mental energy”, or “I am watching Resistance and Procrastination leave me now”, or you could take a little focus different and say, “I’m free to choose Procrastination and Resistance as friends (or maybe teachers) so I can learn more about why they stopped me and struggled with them and myself to get things done.”
Also, to remove Resistance you need to be very aware of Its presence. It’s sneaky if you’re not paying attention. The resistance will make your body feel terrible. Any response you have to a negative feeling is your body’s attempt to send you the “red flag” that it’s in motion. What she may or may not realize is that she can control her “stamina meter” and if she doesn’t want Stamina, she can let her thoughts get the better of her. Again, use your words and say, “I’m feeling anxious right now, and that tells me that the Resistance is trying to get back into my life or home. There’s no place for you, Resistance. I’m at peace here without you.” The more you say it, believe it, and feel it, the more you can lower that heartbeat and your anxiety will begin to dissipate.
Taking it a step further, resistance is a byproduct of fear. Fear is not that easy to externalize, so we must expand the search for answers by looking at the underlying fear that started your resistance and that resulted in allowing Procrastination and Resistance to rent space in your mind.
Step 3: Determine your fear
Begin to ask yourself what you felt like the last time resistance led to procrastination behavior. Did he feel anxious, scared, confused, frustrated, angry? Think about this and really try to go deeper into the process of your procrastinating behavior. Step 3 is an important piece of this puzzle, so start by considering these three questions:
1. Am I afraid of rejection from others if I accomplish this goal or task?
2. Am I afraid that I don’t know all the answers, so it is better to lack initiative than to try and fail?
3. Am I afraid of letting go of procrastination because it has protected me and if I freely give up something that has become valuable to me, won’t I feel lost without it?
This should prompt personal introspection if you really want to find the source of your fear. Remember: “Your fear is what led to your Resistance which allowed procrastination.” It is never an easy process to look within and become acutely aware of negative emotions and behaviors. But if you begin this process by letting go of your identity as “The Procrastinator” or “A Procrastinator”, you will have taken the first giant step in learning to “Outsource, Eliminate and Determine” your path to success!
