A client recently asked me, “What would you have left to talk about if you took the gossip out of the conversation?” A very good question, because most of us spend a lot of our time gossiping. It can be about “harmless” little things, like the behavior of the neighbors, how someone was caught on the street with someone else’s wife, how the next door neighbor was caught driving under the influence of alcohol. Or how one of our kids’ friends got drunk (and sick on the school bus). Most of us, to a greater or lesser extent, revel in gossip, especially if it involves someone else falling flat on their face.
Of course, if you stop to think about it for a moment, none of this is harmless. In fact, it is really harmful. First of all, it directs our energy towards the negative. But more importantly, it reduces the amount of energy we have available to do what we’re supposed to do, here and now.
We’re all familiar with the saying that what goes around comes around – hop on that particular “forgiveness” at your own risk! We are all familiar with the concept that you reap what you sow, same thing. These are old adages proven correct by modern science: quantum physics. You get what you put in. Invest your energy in nonsense, and your life will be little more than nonsense itself. Delight in the misfortune of others and you are setting yourself up for misfortune. Buddhists might call it the wheel of karma; a physicist could describe it simply as energy responding to energy.
And, in fact, that is the most important aspect of how negatively negative gossip can affect the gossiper. If you’re “investing” your energy into talking nonsense, you’ve immediately reduced the time and energy available to do the really important things you need to do today. It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that time wasted on nonsense reduces the amount of time for the things you have to do. And yet, many people complain that they simply don’t have enough hours in the day to do all the things on their “to do” list.
If you are investing your energy in the negative, you are perpetuating a well-proven fact that the normal mind tends towards negativity. This is very bad for you because it is your own state of mind that creates your life. Energy In – Energy Out – By pouring your energy into the negative, you are not only wasting time, sidetracking from the important things of the day, but you are actively watering the seeds you have been sowing your entire adult life that create a life normal that, in the best of cases, it is not so bad.
Eliminate negative gossip. Stop diverting your energy from creating the effortless happiness and success you can have, just direct your energy towards it. Stop wasting time reveling in bad news, news that only confirms that it’s okay to not be so bad. Stop reading the crap in the newspapers. Don’t get me wrong, we all have to keep up with what’s going on in the world, but we don’t have to wallow in the “news” about rape, assault, murder, and so-called normal people who generally misbehave. Stop flipping channels – dive into the “reality TV” that brings traffic accidents, car chases and true crime to our screens. That’s not reality, it’s just more proof that normal people are gone and added comfort to you in living a not-so-bad life. Real reality is found in the wonder of this here and now. Those are just more examples of the inappropriate behavior of “normal” people and certainly not entertainment.
Control yourself, you are a responsible adult, right? Take responsibility for the one thing in this life that you can be totally and utterly responsible for, your own state of mind and where you direct your attention. Why not start talking about good things, talk about how good people are, swap good stories instead of competing with each other at the coffee break or at the water cooler to see who can tell the most depressing story. , about someone being mugged, stolen cars, people with serious illness. Seriously, all you have to do is listen to the conversations that are going on around you all the time (some of which you get into) to figure out what’s going on. Negative gossip is sapping your energy, diverting you towards the negative. The result: your negative energy is actively contributing to a negative world: stress, worry, anxiety, violence, and war. Every drop of “negative” adds to the sea of negativity.
For. Grow. Focus on the good in all of our lives. Not only will you feel better, not only some people around you will feel better too, but you will be more optimistic and focused to do wholeheartedly what really needs to be done today. But, better than that and more importantly, you will embark on the karma merry-go-round: by putting in something positive, you will get something positive. Now, that makes more sense, doesn’t it?
Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton