Although the life of a man entangled by his mother is likely to revolve around his mother, that doesn’t mean he won’t end up having a relationship. When this happens, he may spend less time doing things for his mother.
But as time goes by, he might end up focusing more on his mother’s needs. So while you will have changed and this will have a negative effect on your relationship, you will simply be back to the way you were before.
If your partner could go back in time and see what he was like, he might soon realize that he hasn’t really changed. He changed when he was there for her, not when he turned his focus back to her mother.
Even so, she could hope that he would be back to his old self before long. She may believe that if she gives him some space, he will end up being less focused on her mother and more focused on her.
What may influence why you have withdrawn from your partner is that you feel softened and controlled by your partner. Instead of affirming her boundaries and talking about her, he will have ended up disconnecting from her.
However, while this will make it easier for him to be around her, her mother will likely suffocate and control her. He then he will have moved away from a person with whom he feels uncomfortable, only to get closer to another with whom he also feels uncomfortable.
What’s going on in your life likely means you’ll be frustrated and angry, but you’ll probably go to great lengths to hide how you really feel. It won’t be a rug, then, but he will act as a doormat.
You will simply tolerate being treated badly and accept things that don’t serve you. Somewhere, deep inside of him, will be his masculinity, and he will need to accept this part of himself for his life to change.
A defenseless position
He might have moments where he thinks about what it would be like for him to stand his ground, but he won’t go beyond that. Unlike a man who has control over his life, he might see himself as totally powerless.
Now, regardless of whether your partner is stifling and controlling or he just perceives his behavior this way, being around a woman like that is probably what you’re comfortable with on a deeper level. So, on a conscious level, it will bother him but on another level, it will be what he feels safe.
Because of this, even if your partner wasn’t too masculine when you first got together, they may have become too masculine during your time together. Thanks to your inability to be assertive and take the initiative, your partner will have been forced to assume the “masculine role”.
So even if your partner doesn’t have a problem with being like this once in a while, you may have to be like this at work, for example, you don’t want to be like this all the time. There will be times when you want to let go, be in your femininity, and let your partner take the lead.
a closer look
The question is: why is he unable to assert himself? This likely boils down to that, on a deeper level, you fear being rejected and abandoned if you assert yourself.
Not being this way is likely to lead to this result, and yet you will believe that not being this way is the only way to avoid it. Pleasing your partner, and to do this you will believe you need to hide your needs, will be seen as the only way to keep your partner close.
back in time
To understand why this is so, it will be necessary to take a closer look at what happened during his early years. Most likely, this was a time when his mother used him to satisfy some of his unmet adult and childhood needs.
If you were to express your needs, you probably would have been punished, disapproved of, and/or abandoned. To survive, he had to lose touch with his needs and do what he could to please his mother.
play the past
At a deeper level, you will not be able to realize that your partner is not your mother. That is why he will see her the same way he saw her mother when he was a child, and therefore he will hide both her needs and himself around her.
You will fear that your life will end if you express your needs and assert yourself, and you may feel like an abandoned child. Thanks to what he did not receive as a child, he will be emotionally stunted.
a strong need
Feeling so empty and unsupported, you will subconsciously want to be taken care of and given the love you did not receive as a child. This is why he will have attracted a woman who acts like a mother or has been forced to assume this role.
The bad thing is that this stage of his life is over; he needs to mourn his unmet childhood needs. Neither his partner, nor anyone else, can give him what he missed when he was a child.
If a man can relate to this and is ready to change his life, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be done with the help of a therapist or healer.