7 reasons NOT to move to Denver, Colorado

That’s right! In case you don’t read or watch the news, Colorado was officially one of the most popular cities in America last year. More than 100,000 people moved to Colorado, making us the # 2 state in the country for inbound migration. (Wow, what was number one?)

Denver benefited (or suffered in their view) better than anyone else in the 24-36-year-old category. More young people move to Denver than to any other city in the United States. We wonder why?

Reason # 1 Marijuana tourists.

The only thing worse than tourists is a HIGH tourist. Now they walk aimlessly in search of something sweet to eat and cold to drink. And did you think microbreweries were popular? Visit South Broadway anytime.

Reason # 2 Exercise.

Denver is consistently ranked as one of the “fittest” cities in the country. If you move here, you will have to work out AND do yoga at Red Rocks on Sundays. Seriously.

Reason # 3 There is no more gold.

All the gold has been had! That’s right, all the reality shows on Weather Channel Prospecting are fake. No one is discovering pockets of half a million dollars that are not empty. I mean come on, what did you really think?

Reason # 4 Baking error.

The high altitude makes baking Grandma’s apple pie practically impossible. After many unsuccessful attempts, most bakers give up.

Reason # 5 Oysters from the Rocky Mountains.

Few places are as synonymous with eating testicles as Denver. Fried beef balls are served in many local restaurants, and even Coors Field.

Do you want things to do? Just choose Denver Post, Westword Magazine, 5280 Magazine, or any other media outlet and you will find literally dozens of things to see and do on any given day. Don’t you believe us? Order your regular mail magazine and find out.

Reason # 6 You will have to buy a bicycle.

Denver has more than 850 miles of paved and off-road biking trails. That means you can travel a long way from home before your calves cramp and you have to call someone to drive you.

Beautiful Views – From City Park to Colorado’s Front Range. You want to live here?

Reason # 7 Denver’s 300 sunny days are a lie.

Denver enjoys clear skies for the most part, and much more than other trendy cities like New York, Seattle, and San Francisco. However, it does not have the 300 days of sunshine as most people boast. According to Denver Westword, the city enjoys about 115 clear days, 130 partly cloudy days, and 120 cloudy days. That’s still a lot of vitamin D, but it makes you wonder what else Denver is lying about.

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